BARBARIAN BELLS
(To the tune of Jingle Bells)
Oh look here comes Krag,
His hammer swinging high
On your head it lands
Now you’re gonna die
Crushing all his foes,
Leap into the fray,
Oh how much Krag loves to fight
His enemies should pray
Oh! Bash their skulls, Smash them all, Make them scream with fear,
Hit them with your hammer, Krag, Then cut off all their ears
Bash their skulls, smash them all, put them in a bag
Make them wish they'd never come across your party, Krag.
MARKUS THE NO-MAN
(To the tune of Frosty The Snowman)
Markus the wizard
Was expelled so how bout that,
He’s got an old spell book,
And some bright blue robes,
But he doesn’t have a hat.
Markus the wizard,
Owes a demon lots of gold.
He’d better pay up quick
Or invent some trick,
Or he’s sure to lose his soul.
You’d think he knew some magic from the way he makes it sound,
But when danger rears its ugly head, then he’s nowhere to be found.
Markus the wizard
Krag is tired of your schtick
You’d better shut your mouth
And contribute some
Or he'll punch you in the ...face.
UNHOLY KNIFE
(To the tune of Oh Holy Night)
Oh silent knife
She’s in the shadows creeping
Alex 1, Alex 2, Alex 3,
She’ll stab your face
You’ll never even see her
Until it’s much much too late, and then you’re screwed.
We’re doomed you fools, there’s nothing that can save us
She’s smiling guys, I think this is the end now.
Crap, where’d she go?
I think I peed a little
Ow guys, my spleen
Oh guys, there’s so much blood
Oh crap, it hurts,
Oh guys, Oh guys, it hurts.
LITTLE STRUMMER ELF
(To the tune of Little Drummer Boy)
Garand, save us
Strum strum strum strum strum
He showed up to the fight
Strum strum strum strum strum
Garand is here don’t fear
Strum strum strum strum strum
I didn’t bring a sword
Strum strum strum strum strum
Strum strum strum strum
Strum strum strum strum
I’ll play my lute for Krag
Strum strum strum strum strum
I’ll play my best for him
Strum strum strum strum strum
Strum strum strum strum
Strum strum strum strum
Then Krag yelled at him
Strum strum strum strum strum
‘bards are dumb’